A Child is Born

The wait is over. For many of you, this is common knowledge. For those living in Fraggle Rock, which is known for poor Wi-Fi, Julie and I had our baby last night. Camilla Ainsley Parr was born at 8:59pm (the witching hour) on November 23rd at Good Samaritan Hospital in Cincinnati, OH. She weighed in at 7 lbs, 15.5 oz and measured in at 20 1/8 inches long. The hospital is about 6 blocks from our house in the Clifton Gaslight and is the same hospital where Julie and her brother were born. Camilla has a full head of dark hair and is absolutely adorable. Ask anyone; they’ll tell you.

To backtrack, Julie and I went to Good Sam on Sunday, 11/22 (original due date) at 4:00pm to begin the induction process. Fortunately, this overlapped with the Bengals game, so we didn’t have to watch them choke against the Raiders (which would have upset the baby). Julie was given a drug in preparation for the induction drug the following morning. I stayed the night with her and we both slept poorly-Julie worse than me:(

The next morning Julie was given the induction drug at about 7:30 am. Contractions weren’t cooking with fire until around noon and at that time; Julie opted to have an epidural. I am grateful she chose to get the epidural and would recommend all of my male counterparts promote its usage. About 6:30 pm, Julie’s nurse told her to start pushing. I was then told to grab a leg, which was not something that I expected. Julie had originally told me that I I would be able to stand next to her for support (mutual) and that we would not have a mirror to see what was going on south of the border. Well, that notion went to hell in a hand basket fast!!!! So, Julie started the birthing process with me in tow and then the nurse stopped suddenly as the doctor, who was elsewhere, had to go into surgery with another patient. Julie was told to wait patiently. Seriously? Yes, seriously! “Stop having a baby, Julie”.

An hour later, the doctor was back on standby and the pushing resumed. Accordingly, I assumed my position of holding Julie’s right leg as Camilla made way. Please note that Julie played soccer in college and has the strongest legs of all time. Thus, my pecs and shoulders are bruised today from bracing against her foot. Anyway, at this point, the nurses switched shifts, and we got a new nurse named Precious!

For those of you who know me, you’ll immediately recognize that all I wanted to do was make Silence of the Lambs jokes as Buffalo Bill’s dog in that movie is named “Precious”. After telling Julie to “put the lotion on its skin”, I decided to shut up and be serious. As a sidebar, I didn’t want to make a Lord of the Rings reference, as I thought that it might jinx things and make the baby look like Gollum. Anyway, all seriousness and maturity ended when I told the nurse the name of my daughter would be FawnDawnTawny, which as I told her, "was a combination of my 3 favorite stripper names". She laughed so hard she left the room. Precious to me: “You crazy”.

During labor, the only times I misbehaved were when I told Julie all of the things my good friend Joe Meinking used to say to me in college when we were lifting weights, such as: “get some” and “you’re Wesley Snipes”, or “Juice, juice, juice”. I also reminded her of The Office episode where Michael Scott holds up Jan’s baby like in the Lion King. Despite my boyish antics, I was surprisingly calm, steady, and prepared for anything during the birth of the Heiress to my throne.

Shortly thereafter, things really got underway and the doctor was called in. After about two hours, the baby was born and my Mother and Mother in law cheered and cried, while I stared in disbelief that I had created a human being with someone. I cut the cord and we all teared up and began hugging. Texts began to fly and Facebook lit up like a Bar Harbor 4th of July with the news. I would’ve sent out a passenger pigeon, but sadly, they’re extinct.

As I write this post, which you can expect much more from both Julie and me, it is important to note that Julie is spending her last night in the hospital. Our room during the deliver was like the rooms seen in the show House, whereas the recovery rooms are more like an epiode of MASH. Julie is doing great and is in perfect shape, as is Camilla. I am so proud of Julie for being so brave throughout the last 9 months and especially last night. I have never met a more stoic person and am very fortunate to have her in my life. Watching her hold and love that baby is pure magic and gives me great hope for our future!

High-Fives all around,

-Will